the waiting

At one of the many wonderful Andrew Peterson concerts I've been to, he said something before one of his songs that really stuck with me. It's been one of my FAVORITE songs for ahwile now, but the message behind it really hit home. It's a song called "Holy is the Lord" about the story of Abraham and Isaac. The lyrical story starts out with Abraham talking to Isaac pretty much saying, "Let's go take a walk, say goodbye to your mom, 'we'll be gone a little while..'" The walk in which Abraham took Isaac to be sacrificed was so real, hard, and unfathomable, but Abraham's faith gave him the stregth. In Andrew Peterson's discussion about this song before he performed it (btw LOVE it when singers do this) he pointed out that he deliberately left this song open ended without discussing the conclusion of the story. Even though we know the end of the story, of God's merciful provision, Andrew left the song unended to drive home the reality that even though we know that God provided now- Abraham didn't know that then. Realizing that poignant truth makes this an even more effective and beautiful song.

My post today is likewise not gonna have any answers. It's just a bunch of rambling thoughts that haven't really come together yet-- just merely a subject that my mind's been wrestling with lately....... the waiting. As a single graduating female that has, oh, 8 weddings to attend in the next 6 months (yeah... don't take it personally if I don't make it to EVERY single one of those...) I can't tell you how many times lately I've heard "oh, when your time comes, it'll be SO worth the wait." a of all, please. b of all, ok, I agree. I'm pretty excited about that day too...

But, on the other hand, what if there's nothing to wait for? (no, seriously. go with me here.) I've always purposed in my heart and heard growing up to "save yourself... guard your heart..... stay pure (in more ways than one).... it'll, again, be worth the wait" But is that really what I'm saving myself/guarding my heart/staying pure for?!? Just because it'll pay off in the end when I finally get my "reward" or "knight in shining armor"? No, not necessarily. I mean, that would be a nice ending to be able to say that it did indeed "pay off", but I'd like to think that I've "saved myself" (body, heart, and mind) for so many different reasons. What if our ultimate reason is simply because we have purposed in our hearts to glorify God in whatever we do.....?! Why can't that be our #1 motivator?

I agree that "saving yourself" is also a respect thing (not only for yourself, but for your future spouse or even your significant other's future spouse) that definitely shouldn't be overlooked. They deserve that respect. But again- what if there is no "future?" And, I'm not trying to be debbie downer here, it's just realistic. When it comes down to it, I just want my motivations behind my actions to be as pure as the actions themselves. I wanna do things because I want to glorify God, not because it'll be "worth it in the end."

How about heaven as another example... I hear so many people talking about heaven and how it'll be so "worth our wait." Which, I agree, it will be worth our wait. Exceedingly and abundantly so. Believe me, I have plenty of anticipation for heaven because of what all it means for us as Christians- it's definitely something to look forward to and celebrate towards, don't get me wrong. With that said... I sometimes shudder to think... would Christianity be as appealing/"popular" if eternal life in heaven wasn't the end result?!? If eternity in hell wasn't so repulsive? What if we were to live for Christ merely out of how much we love Him instead of how much we can get out of Him... I mean, Praise the Lord FOR grace and heaven and the beautiful gift that it is (as is marriage), but it just makes me reevaluate what I'm really living for and my motivation sometimes.

Biblically, there are lots of verses that discuss the waiting so I'm not saying that it's not an important aspect of life. Our culture teaches us impatience, so waiting's not usually a state we usually find ourselves comfortable in. I recently studied Esther (um, PHENOMINAL), and if that entire book isn't about waiting on the Lord and his perfect timing, I don't know what is.

Also, read Isaiah 30:18:
-"Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him." (The Lord is waiting too!)

I looked back at some Esther notes and found this... it pretty much summed up everything I just said.. SO, if you don't read anything else, READ THIS!:

"Our strength will be depleated if we wait on the THING, but if we WAIT UPON THE LORD, HE WILL RENEW OUR STRENTH." (Is. 40:31)

Yes Lord, renew my strength. I want to wait on YOU, not silly THINGS.

(oh, and here's Andrew Peterson's song cause it's just that good... so powerful. love it. )